Digital Opium for the Foorapes

Not all Foorapes will be able to go on a holliday this year. Corporate pressures, personal agenda's and the mind-numbing rhytm of oul-infested wrist watches are maliciously employed to destroy the foorapes for once and for all. Of course, this is nothing new, and the power elite will fail in their futile attempts to defeat the foorse, once again . But this summer, the powers that be, have designed a particular cunning strategy. They finally understood that foorapes are not a-technological at all. They use vehicles such as the President, worship beer-tapping devices, and even use the internet. As soon as the Anti-Foorapes Commission (AFC) - consisting of Multinational CEO's, WTO-members, IMF and World Bank scum - realized that the Foorapes are becoming increasingly successfull in promototing their lifestyle to the general public, they pannicked. All the signs were there: increasing birth rates in foorape-infested areas , decreasing criminality levels and plumetting suicide statistics all pointed in the same direction. The balance in the foorse was about to be restored. This would undermine the whole basis of the consumption/fear/exploitation based 'global village'. So the Anti-Foorapes Commission (AFC) had to look for a solution. And they came pretty close.

Click: http://www.sloggifun.com/

Their strategy was two-fold. On the one hand they needed to control the Foorape's movements by means of a socio-financial attack on his life-style. Boycotting Foorape jobs and income wherever possible, the possibilities for a traditional foorape summer diaspora were severely restricted. Some escaped, but others, like the unfortunate A-man, were chained to their desks for the entire summer. This is where the second part of their satanical plan kicks in. Following the old formula of 'opium for the masses', they designed a 'digital opium for the foorapes'. Websites were designed to create a digital bond between the Foorape and his personal computer. These sites are being sponsored by multinational corporations such as the sexist Sloggi-company and an international initiative that aims to replace actual bars by virtual bars.

Click: http://www.virtualbartender.beer.com/

Both initiatives demonstrate how well the Foorapes have been studied by the AFC. They hit them on two of the main pillars of Foorhood: love for the ladies and love for beer. We strongly discourage any foorape to visit these websites more than once a month. They contain a frustrating amount of nudity in combination with pseudo-interactive communication. Observe the sites below. However, Foorapes should be warned as both sites have been proven to be extremely addictive.

DJ Foorwijf as the Fanclub President

This post is dedicated to the newly elected Foorape Fanclub President - aka DJ Foorwijf. For this excquisite human specimen has proven herself worthy through a series of excruciating trials, the likes of which no other human has undergone before. This trial included a journey into the white mountains that cover the wintery landscapes of Europe in an allmost exclusive foorape company. She took the task upon herself to share a room with three foorapes with a fearlesness that makes Die hard 4 look like a an episode of My Little Pony. Without neglecting her decisive feminine features, she succeeded in socializing herself into the performative practices of foorhood. After a week of Butthead-inspired uuuurghhhh, odours that make Sadam's nerve gasses smell like a Dior fragrance, and countles Borat-inspired I like's - she succeeded in internalizing the foorse entirely. DJ Foorwijf's election proved to be an excellent decision on the part of the foorapes. This chick kicked ass on the legendary foorape hotdog party. Personally responsible for the disappearance of about 134.5 hotdogs and 17 deflowerings of young unsuspecting male sex victims in one evening just by looking at them, she sent chockwaves of 13.2 on the scale of Richter through the city of Antwerp while working the turntables with her foorseful DJ skills. Our eternal fooritude goes out to DJ Foorwijf and those she loves.

hotdogification

Even the most low-pitched foorape party requires efforts under which the human body would simply desintegrate. It is unadvisable for any man, woman or child to stay longer than 27 minutes at a foorse-hotspot without the necessary precautions. Fortunately, by trial and error, foorapes slowely became aware of this fact. It is for this reason that 500 hotdogs were ordered, prepared and mostly eaten during this incredible foorfest.

A great deal of people believe that the word 'hotdog' is not meant to be taken literally. The foorapes know better. During the famous foorape famine of 1908 during which the seeds of the rare plant florabickyfaunologicus were destroyed, the foorape needed to resort to other foods. The practice of 'hunting' however, was not something the Big Foorapes had in mind, when he so exquisitly designed the foorape body. The foorape simply lacks every form of aggression. His hunting techniques are therefore limited to putting a piece of bread on the floor, hoping to lure an innocent annimal. When these animals approach the piece of bread, the observing foorape uses all of his foorse to kill and mangle the animal into a satisfactory amount of Wieners. In a last spasm, the unfortunate animal empties its blather and pisses on the grass. Hence the name 'sauerkrautz'. The destroyed plants or 'sauerkrautz' are included in the hotdog formula. Since the foorape strives to maintain a balance in the enfooronment, he cannot bear to leave the piece of bread on the floor. This would be an example of waste, unworthy of the foorape. So Wiener and bread were put together as a hotdog. Below, one can observe the prey before it was hotdogificized.

his might all seem to be disgusting to someone who hasn't eaten an original foorape hotdog yet. Nevertheless, below the sceptics may observe the delighted facial expressions of human fanclub members.

During the foorape party, humans try to foor their beer with hotdogs. After a night of fermentation, this results in odours irresistable to the foorape sensory system. This beerified hotdog or this hotdogified beer is every foorape's cup of tea.

By the way, foorapes are not the only animals who appreciate the freshly hunted Wieners.

Hateclub Truce and Reconcilement

War and conflict are two concepts which are absolutely in contradiction with the foorape philosophy. The anomalous existence of a foorape hateclub in France - consisting exclusively of old people - seems to be rather an exception to the rule. In the foorape home country - Belgium - no such conflicts have been reported. On the contrary, old people and foorapes seem to be working together in a strange symbiotic relationship that adds to the foorification of both the fanclub, the old people's Nature Friends club house and the foorapes themselves. These gentle Nature Friends seem to feel a natural affinity towards the foorape - who remains listed on the endangered species list.



After initial cultural misunderstandings, the foorapes succeeded to foor the party awareness of these Flemish Nature friends. The old people were so taken over by the natural foorape charm that they suggested to foor their own environment into an enfooronment. The foorapes gladly took this opportunity and organised a party on the old people's terrain. For a foorape respects the old.

Fanclub Multiplication

The ancient human manuscript called the Bible nailed it down. "Go and procreate yourselves" was something the guy with the beard was saying - if this foorape memory isn't malfunctioning. This is exactly what happened to the foorape fanclub. Yes, thanks to the Belgian Nature Friends, and an unknown American hotdog company, the foorapes were able to lure the ladies right into their never-failing foorsefield of luuve.


As can be observed on the picture above, the foorapes fanclub just couldn't wait to sunset and started fooring early in the evening. Even though the foorape never rests, fanclub members tend to be mere humans and need the sun in order to fuel the few latent foorsels in their bodies. The required energy levels for even the most modest of foorparties are enormous. European Research and Development crews are currently researching the long-term effects of these parties on global warming, fertility rates and happyness. All indicators show an increase on each of these areas.

At this particular party, one of the foorapes deserves an extra amount of credit. Foorape Chevy man used every hormone in his body with maximum result. These girls are embracing this foorape for good reason. While using his bolding head and leathery appearance as an amplification for his genetically imbedded beer-tracking device, this foorape saved the party of the year. Following the foorse which connects every foorape directly to every beer can in the world, foorape Chevy man succeeded in finding the required gas-installation to foor our beer-tapping device in the middle of this glorious night. The foorape fanclub rightly decided to reward him with a full-blown orgy at the ancient banks of the Antwerp river. Two milleseconds after the picture below was taken, the foorsefield expanded at such an inconceivable rate that electrical devices such as digital camra's melt down in the blink of an eye.

The foorapes wish to welcome all of the new fanclub members to the Planet of the Foorapes. They do not believe in bureaucracy or registration so don't ask them about a membership card. If you want to be recognisable as a foorape fanclub member, just start to wash your hair with hotdogs or Bicky sauce on a daily basis. Fanclub members, unite yourselves to the expansion of global foorness. Below, the foorapes would like to provide the fanclub with some general impressions that haven't been included elsewhere on the site.

The Foorapes Hateclub

Well, not everybody approves of the foorape lifestyle. Even a foorape can not possibly be liked by everyone. Especially old people seem to find it hard to appreciate the culture of the foorhood. Especially the combination of hardrock at 10 a.m. comming out of a roaring Chevy while one of the foorapes is on a mission to fech us some french croissants seems to trigger a slight annoyance inside the brains of old frogs.

Nevertheless, the foorape respects the old. His behaviour is could even be seen as a tribute to the old. They merely wish to remind these people how it was to be young. To envigorate them. To show them that life is beautyfull. Nevertheless, due to cultural differences, this message is often missed by the old. A phenomenon that can easily be observed in the disapproving eyes of this part of the population.

Our advice to the old is of course ...

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The Foorapes Fanclub

Well, what can we say ... the ladies just love the foorapes. Even though appearances might suggest otherwise, the foorape is - like any other primate - a social creature. Especially when it concerns the ladies. This becomes more obvious if one notices the fact that there is no such thing as a female foorape. For reproduction purposses, the foorape is entirely dependent on the availability of female human specimens. It is for this purpose - and this purpose only - that the fore-ape is allowed to leave his dresscode at the Chevy. Because foorapes know what the ladies like ...

Yes, the ladies just love being touched by the foorapes, their raw, manly odour triggers a wide variety of love juices within the human female body. As can be observed, the foorape is aware of this, and does not neglect the necessary training required to become a master not only in fooring, but also in luuving luuuuve. For training purposes only, the foorape surrounds his natural environment - the president - with pictoral representations of the human female sexe. In the company of women then, the foorape shows an unexpected

quality, as a master of the tender arts, he is committed to provide the human female with pleasure impossible to attain in a physical encounter with a mere human specimen. Unfortunately, the foorape is not monogamous, but the pleasure he provides lasts for more than a life time. No grudges on the part of the ladies. We give them pleasure, they give us joy.

As this picture clearly demonstrates, not only the ladies, but their children too, prefer the company of foorapes over other lifeforms. The foorape triggers parties wherever he goes.

His vibes resonate everywhere he goes. It is therefore unclear whether the festivities observed are mating rituals, offers of deep human gratitude or exlamations of sheer joy instantiated by the presence of a foorape. We will probably never know ...