DJ Foorwijf as the Fanclub President

This post is dedicated to the newly elected Foorape Fanclub President - aka DJ Foorwijf. For this excquisite human specimen has proven herself worthy through a series of excruciating trials, the likes of which no other human has undergone before. This trial included a journey into the white mountains that cover the wintery landscapes of Europe in an allmost exclusive foorape company. She took the task upon herself to share a room with three foorapes with a fearlesness that makes Die hard 4 look like a an episode of My Little Pony. Without neglecting her decisive feminine features, she succeeded in socializing herself into the performative practices of foorhood. After a week of Butthead-inspired uuuurghhhh, odours that make Sadam's nerve gasses smell like a Dior fragrance, and countles Borat-inspired I like's - she succeeded in internalizing the foorse entirely. DJ Foorwijf's election proved to be an excellent decision on the part of the foorapes. This chick kicked ass on the legendary foorape hotdog party. Personally responsible for the disappearance of about 134.5 hotdogs and 17 deflowerings of young unsuspecting male sex victims in one evening just by looking at them, she sent chockwaves of 13.2 on the scale of Richter through the city of Antwerp while working the turntables with her foorseful DJ skills. Our eternal fooritude goes out to DJ Foorwijf and those she loves.

Foorape Cleaning Activity

It is a common misconception that the foorape is allergic to cleaning activities. However, it is an activity that most foorapes prefer to perform in the darkness offered by the night. Still tripping on the foorape hormones of the foorape hotdogy party, A-man and S-man cleaned allmost the entire Nature Friends clubhouse. They used every physical ability available to them. They used their tongues to clean the tables, their hair to scrub the floor, and their asses to clean the toilets. In daylight, the foorape only cleans in the absence of humans. This is a strategic move, aimed to deceive the ladies who assume that the foorape enfooronment is as pleasant as it is on its own. This is not true ofcourse. The foorape treats his enfironment with respect. Below some rare daylight pictures of foorape cleaning activity.

hotdogification

Even the most low-pitched foorape party requires efforts under which the human body would simply desintegrate. It is unadvisable for any man, woman or child to stay longer than 27 minutes at a foorse-hotspot without the necessary precautions. Fortunately, by trial and error, foorapes slowely became aware of this fact. It is for this reason that 500 hotdogs were ordered, prepared and mostly eaten during this incredible foorfest.

A great deal of people believe that the word 'hotdog' is not meant to be taken literally. The foorapes know better. During the famous foorape famine of 1908 during which the seeds of the rare plant florabickyfaunologicus were destroyed, the foorape needed to resort to other foods. The practice of 'hunting' however, was not something the Big Foorapes had in mind, when he so exquisitly designed the foorape body. The foorape simply lacks every form of aggression. His hunting techniques are therefore limited to putting a piece of bread on the floor, hoping to lure an innocent annimal. When these animals approach the piece of bread, the observing foorape uses all of his foorse to kill and mangle the animal into a satisfactory amount of Wieners. In a last spasm, the unfortunate animal empties its blather and pisses on the grass. Hence the name 'sauerkrautz'. The destroyed plants or 'sauerkrautz' are included in the hotdog formula. Since the foorape strives to maintain a balance in the enfooronment, he cannot bear to leave the piece of bread on the floor. This would be an example of waste, unworthy of the foorape. So Wiener and bread were put together as a hotdog. Below, one can observe the prey before it was hotdogificized.

his might all seem to be disgusting to someone who hasn't eaten an original foorape hotdog yet. Nevertheless, below the sceptics may observe the delighted facial expressions of human fanclub members.

During the foorape party, humans try to foor their beer with hotdogs. After a night of fermentation, this results in odours irresistable to the foorape sensory system. This beerified hotdog or this hotdogified beer is every foorape's cup of tea.

By the way, foorapes are not the only animals who appreciate the freshly hunted Wieners.

Hateclub Truce and Reconcilement

War and conflict are two concepts which are absolutely in contradiction with the foorape philosophy. The anomalous existence of a foorape hateclub in France - consisting exclusively of old people - seems to be rather an exception to the rule. In the foorape home country - Belgium - no such conflicts have been reported. On the contrary, old people and foorapes seem to be working together in a strange symbiotic relationship that adds to the foorification of both the fanclub, the old people's Nature Friends club house and the foorapes themselves. These gentle Nature Friends seem to feel a natural affinity towards the foorape - who remains listed on the endangered species list.



After initial cultural misunderstandings, the foorapes succeeded to foor the party awareness of these Flemish Nature friends. The old people were so taken over by the natural foorape charm that they suggested to foor their own environment into an enfooronment. The foorapes gladly took this opportunity and organised a party on the old people's terrain. For a foorape respects the old.

Fanclub Multiplication

The ancient human manuscript called the Bible nailed it down. "Go and procreate yourselves" was something the guy with the beard was saying - if this foorape memory isn't malfunctioning. This is exactly what happened to the foorape fanclub. Yes, thanks to the Belgian Nature Friends, and an unknown American hotdog company, the foorapes were able to lure the ladies right into their never-failing foorsefield of luuve.


As can be observed on the picture above, the foorapes fanclub just couldn't wait to sunset and started fooring early in the evening. Even though the foorape never rests, fanclub members tend to be mere humans and need the sun in order to fuel the few latent foorsels in their bodies. The required energy levels for even the most modest of foorparties are enormous. European Research and Development crews are currently researching the long-term effects of these parties on global warming, fertility rates and happyness. All indicators show an increase on each of these areas.

At this particular party, one of the foorapes deserves an extra amount of credit. Foorape Chevy man used every hormone in his body with maximum result. These girls are embracing this foorape for good reason. While using his bolding head and leathery appearance as an amplification for his genetically imbedded beer-tracking device, this foorape saved the party of the year. Following the foorse which connects every foorape directly to every beer can in the world, foorape Chevy man succeeded in finding the required gas-installation to foor our beer-tapping device in the middle of this glorious night. The foorape fanclub rightly decided to reward him with a full-blown orgy at the ancient banks of the Antwerp river. Two milleseconds after the picture below was taken, the foorsefield expanded at such an inconceivable rate that electrical devices such as digital camra's melt down in the blink of an eye.

The foorapes wish to welcome all of the new fanclub members to the Planet of the Foorapes. They do not believe in bureaucracy or registration so don't ask them about a membership card. If you want to be recognisable as a foorape fanclub member, just start to wash your hair with hotdogs or Bicky sauce on a daily basis. Fanclub members, unite yourselves to the expansion of global foorness. Below, the foorapes would like to provide the fanclub with some general impressions that haven't been included elsewhere on the site.

The foorapes Party Hole is open for some serious funky shit.

They finally did it. Z-man, S-man, Chevy-man, A-man and J-man fused their phenomenal social skills and creativity. They put their perverted little brains together to generate the required level of foorness which will fuel the best party of the year. AND YOU ARE INVITED. At the banks of the ancient Schelde, at the edge of civilization as we know it, in a state that we can barely call human, we will perform the ancient ritual of party to the bone. For those of you who haven't been to a foorape party before, observe the following guidelines. Not adherring to these simple rules might result in serious and permanent mischief. So, don't forget to

• leave your working or study clothes at home


• leave your clothes at home


• bring your string, your wet-T-shirt or mud-wrestling clothes with you


• pull that string or t-shirt over your head before entering the party


• bring a string for a friend


• bring a friend


• bring a pet


• foor that pet (see blog for further instructions)


• pump up your foordrives


• stuff yourself with as many hotdogs as you can


• tune into the foorse which surrounds you


• feel the vibes and vibrate to their tunes

Some observations of the location are included below. The water of the swimming pool is being heated as we speak.

One more thing. The foorapes would like to provide their guests with absolute joy. In order to provide an ample supply of bicky, hotdog and booze, they would like to know how many members of the foorape fanclub will make it to the party. So, just let us know, and we make sure you can party on. May the foorse be with you and those you love,




Z-Man, S-Man,
Chevy-man, J-man
and A-man - aka the Foorapes