Foorapes on a Spanish Diet

The Spanish foorape Paco Serrano knows how to please his Belgian and French palls. Approximately 15 minutes after the foorapes crashed into the centre of Madrid (they were thrown out of the cockpit after they got their ticket to the ten miles high club from the aeroplane personell), Serrano took our friends to this blisfull place. No hotdogs or Bicky's in Madrid, but those Spanish dudes do make up for it.

Walls of dried meat. Who could ask for more ... .By lack of Bicky's and hotdogs, Spanish foorapes have adapted themselves to a new way of life. They invented the concept of Tapa. A category of food that consists mostly of fried, baked and raw meat. Vegetables are exclusively used for decorative purposses. It allmost seems as if Spanish foorapes don't believe in vegetables at all. They call it 'owlfood' one of the worst cursewords in the foorape lexicon. For the owls are the foorape's worst ennemies. One exception though: green peppers that set the foorape's ass on fire. A fire that proves to be an extra stimulant in the Madrid party scene.

hotdogification

Even the most low-pitched foorape party requires efforts under which the human body would simply desintegrate. It is unadvisable for any man, woman or child to stay longer than 27 minutes at a foorse-hotspot without the necessary precautions. Fortunately, by trial and error, foorapes slowely became aware of this fact. It is for this reason that 500 hotdogs were ordered, prepared and mostly eaten during this incredible foorfest.

A great deal of people believe that the word 'hotdog' is not meant to be taken literally. The foorapes know better. During the famous foorape famine of 1908 during which the seeds of the rare plant florabickyfaunologicus were destroyed, the foorape needed to resort to other foods. The practice of 'hunting' however, was not something the Big Foorapes had in mind, when he so exquisitly designed the foorape body. The foorape simply lacks every form of aggression. His hunting techniques are therefore limited to putting a piece of bread on the floor, hoping to lure an innocent annimal. When these animals approach the piece of bread, the observing foorape uses all of his foorse to kill and mangle the animal into a satisfactory amount of Wieners. In a last spasm, the unfortunate animal empties its blather and pisses on the grass. Hence the name 'sauerkrautz'. The destroyed plants or 'sauerkrautz' are included in the hotdog formula. Since the foorape strives to maintain a balance in the enfooronment, he cannot bear to leave the piece of bread on the floor. This would be an example of waste, unworthy of the foorape. So Wiener and bread were put together as a hotdog. Below, one can observe the prey before it was hotdogificized.

his might all seem to be disgusting to someone who hasn't eaten an original foorape hotdog yet. Nevertheless, below the sceptics may observe the delighted facial expressions of human fanclub members.

During the foorape party, humans try to foor their beer with hotdogs. After a night of fermentation, this results in odours irresistable to the foorape sensory system. This beerified hotdog or this hotdogified beer is every foorape's cup of tea.

By the way, foorapes are not the only animals who appreciate the freshly hunted Wieners.

The Foorapes Foor their Food

A foorape can survive about fourteen days without consuming a burger. It is not advisable to deprive him too long from this fundamental food. It has been established as a solid fact that the foorape will devour anything in his proximity if the situation requires him to. Nevertheless, this has profound consequences for his physical constitution. One of the main reasons for the fact that foorapes are so thinly spread, is the lack of certain chemical compounds in human food such as vegetables, fruit and other goory stuff. Since the dawn of the foorhood, the foorape could rely on nature for his survival. Due to global warming however, certain flora and fauna have been lost forever. This lead to the famous worldwide foorape famine of 1983. Fortunately a Dutch burger company managed to rescue a few seeds of a rare plant: the florabickyfaunalogicus. After initial stages of genetical enhancement of these seeds, testing and probing, results were achieved. The Bicky Burger was born and the surviving foorapes were rescued. Unfortunately, the company thus acquired a monopoly on the Bicky extracts which made the foorape entirely dependent on Beckers ltd. (see http://www.bicky.be/) for his very survival. The foorape, of course, detests dependence. That is one of the main reasons that the foorape - if possible - will stuff himself with Bicky Flesh, Bicky Sauce, Bicky Ognions and so on through every bodyly opening available to him. Some observations below. Also included is the Bicky Buddy, a cunning marketing device devoloped by some slick Becker marketeers in an attempt to increas the likeability of this heartless compagny. The foorapes are not fooled. They will not rest untill the florabickyfaunalogicus is publicly availailable in every garden, public park and refrigerator in the world for once and for all.